Rings & Vows
by Tsuki no Kodomo
Summary: While weddings are supposed to be romantic, some really don't get what's going on. Especially someone like... Ryou. BakuraRyou Oneshot


Rings & Vows

Teaching Bakura the reasons why things in the modern world were the way they were was the most difficult task Ryou had ever set out on in his young life. Being thirteen and living alone with a strange spirit sharing his body was not easy, especially since half the time he didn't know what was going on in the world himself.

However, certain things were a necessity to keep Bakura from driving him absolutely insane or getting him killed, so the lessons began. First he taught Bakura about toilets. After an embarrassing mishap with Bakura peeing on the front lawn of their neighbour's house, Ryou realized that that was just not going to cut it.

Following that came a lesson about the kitchen. The stove seemed particularly interesting to the spirit once he learned it could be used to light things on fire. It took Ryou three months to grow his hair back to its appropriate length after that.

The third lesson was about traffic, and what all the signs meant. Not that he ever intended to let Bakura drive, but more to make him a safe pedestrian – "Cars," Ryou had told the spirit, "are ever so much more dangerous than horses."

"But cars don't bite," the spirit had responded.

When Ryou turned fourteen, Bakura asked him a strange question – why did his father wear a ring around one of his fingers on his left hand? At first Ryou had planned to tell Bakura that while it wasn't customary for people to wear jewellery, some chose to anyway, but that specific question created the need for a rather… different answer.

"My dad wears that ring to signify that he's married," Ryou told his soul-mate, as he lounged in bed one summer afternoon.

"But he's not married. You said your mom croaked, right?" Bakura had responded, his spiritual figure perched beside Ryou.

"… well, yeah, mom died but… he used to be married to her, and in our hearts, mom's still here," Ryou responded, staring at the ceiling.

"Why a ring, though?" Bakura prodded on.

Ryou thoughtfully mulled it over for a little while, before looking at Bakura. "You remember when I told you about religious customs?" Bakura nodded. "Well, it's sorta got to do with that. It's a commonly held tradition in the world. When you get married, you propose by offering someone a ring. If they accept it, then they plot and plan and go through all this work and then the wedding comes.

"At the wedding, the couple exchanges vows of loyalty and love and such, and then a minister or priest or something proclaims that they're married. After that, the two are eternally linked together, you know?"

Bakura looked thoughtful for a moment, and at first Ryou had thought he'd appeased the spirit's curiosity. But then, another question came. One that make Ryou sit up, coughing.

"But I offered you _my_ ring, and you took it. So does that mean we'll be getting married?" the white-haired entity mused, watching his young ward.

It took a while for Ryou to recover, but when he did, he immediately shook his head. "No!" He shouted. "Oh heavens no!"

"Well why not?" Bakura frowned. "I gave you a ring, and you took it."

"First of all my _dad_ gave me the ring – "

"The ring is mine. If I hadn't given it to you, you wouldn't have it." Bakura stated.

"Never mind that! Even still! You're supposed to ask something like 'will you marry me?' or say something like 'I love you!' and be all sweet! You never did anything of the sort!"

Bakura wrinkled his nose. "But what if I want to marry you?"

The green-eyed boy stared dubiously at the spirit. "Well you can't! We're both boys, first of all, and I have to be at least sixteen for you to marry anyway! Otherwise it's not legal!"

"Legal was never really my issue," his partner looked amused, watching his ward grow steadily more flustered.

"Well you can't! I don't want to marry you! I'm supposed to marry some pretty girl one day, and have kids, and have a family and stuff!" Ryou huffed. The conversation ended.

However, one day three years later, Ryou was studying for his finals, and a certain spirit found it necessary to pester the poor boy once again. As always, he had grown bored sitting around and a thought had struck him; a very evil thought. Under most circumstances, Bakura would never have invited Yami or Yuugi to Ryou's house, but he had a special treat in mind, and Yami's presence was very required.

He motioned for Yami to remain quiet, as he stepped into Ryou's bedroom doorway. "Hey, Ryou…?"

"Uh huh?" Ryou's face was still buried in his book, and he was paying little attention to the spirit. Bakura pouted.

"I love you."

"Mhm, 'love you too," Ryou returned, distractedly. The spirit pouted more, realizing Ryou probably didn't even realize what he'd said.

"And I gave you the ring…"

"Yep," Ryou returned, once again too distracted to care.

"So we're married then?"

Ryou paused. "Sure, I now pronounce you husband and husband? … You may now kiss Ryou senseless?" Yami declared a little uncertainly. Yuugi simply giggled at the darks' antics.

"I… wait, _what?!_" Ryou spun around in his chair, but couldn't get another word out before Bakura's mouth pressed down on his own. As unwittingly as always, Ryou had put himself into a situation he really wasn't certain he wanted to be in. As unwittingly as ever, Ryou had fallen for one of Bakura's schemes and now…

"What about vows? Aren't you going to say anything sickeningly sappy about love and loyalty and dedication and sickness and health, Bakura?" Yuugi chimed from the doorway, far too amused by all this for his own good.

If Ryou was any other person, he would have throttled Yuugi. "Huh? Loyalty and dedication? … Sickness and health? Fuck! I'm always here for him, isn't that enough? Do I really gotta say something that pharaoh there will never let me live down?"

Ryou huffed. "You put out all this effort to coerce me into marrying you, and you won't at least say proper vows? For shame, Bakura!"

Bakura groaned a bit. He'd wanted this marriage thing firstly to annoy his poor boyfriend (_now husband?_ He thought to himself, gleefully), but also because of something someone had mentioned called 'consummating the marriage'. Basically? The grand opportunity to throw his newfound life-partner into bed and ravish him.

And Ryou wanted damn vows? "I promise to be loyal, and dedicated, and sick and healthy," Bakura stated, grumbling, and leaning in to kiss Ryou again. Ryou, however, simply giggled madly.

"_What_?" Bakura groaned impatiently.

"In sickness and in health! For richer and poorer as long as we both may live!" Ryou recited.

"He's already sick," Yami grinned.

"But that body's obviously… _quite_ healthy," Yuugi returned, gesturing to the thief's well-crafted abs.

"Yeah, yeah," the ex-pharaoh grumbled.

"Don't be too jealous, pharaoh-love," Bakura purred sweetly. "Sure, I'll get sex first –" and to this Ryou protested rather loudly, "- but well… no. You know what? Be completely in awe of me. I've got my cute little husband, my… 'healthy' body, and a really good reason to kick both you and your twerp the fuck back out so I can screw my husband senseless."

"You'll be doing _no such thing_!" Ryou declared, his face a delicious shade of cherry. He sent a pleading look to Yuugi, who just whistled innocently and turned to leave.

"Come now, Yami!" he declared childishly, "I've got a card game to teach you."

"… Does it have monsters?" the taller one responded, starting to trail after Yuugi.

"Nope. But it does involve the loser becoming nude."

"……. Poker?"

"… Mhmm…"

As they exited, they could hear the door upstairs being shut rather quickly, and even as they walked down the street, they could still hear Ryou's half-hearted protests about his finals.

Needless to say – he was on honeymoon for the next three days, and wasn't at school.

_A/N: …Sorry guys. I really don't know where I come up with this crack… hopefully it was enough to appease your Tendershipping desires for a day! I really shouldn't be writing one-shots when I have chapters to be writing. lol!_

_Much love to readers and reviewers. Have yourselves a lovely day – and may this story remind you to always pay attention to what people are saying to you!_


End file.
